Caller 2: April CK
"Hey, we're back again, people," Mike chimed, "So, Raph, waddaya think of that Flat Eric doll? I think he's kinda cool,"
"Naw, he ticks me off," Raph made a grimace.
"Well, there's the major surprise of the century," Mike rolled his eyes, but then gave a big grin. Raph snorted. "He's just so--I dunno--yellow and irritating!"
The call button glowed red, and Mike hit the distribution button.
"Hello and welcome to my show!" he said in a amused voice, " Our first topic today is, as you may know, 'Life As A Mutant Turtle'...So, what's your name?"
"I have a lot of names, but most people I know just call me April CK." came the answer.
"Really? We have a friend called April and--" Mike started.
"I know," April CK said calmly.
Raph and Mike frowned at each other and Mike shrugged, but before they got a saying, April CK broke in.
"I'd like it if you guys played Queens 'Bohemian Rhapsody'," she suggested.
"Sure," Mike said, still a little baffled, " that's one's a classic--good choice, April!"
"Also, I was wondering what your goals in life are. Hey, ask Don and Leo too if they're around, would you?" she said casually.
"Uhm...you mean our goals as mutant turtles--right?" Mike asked.
"Noooooo. I mean your goals as CEO of Microsoft. Jeez! Of course I mean as Ninja Turtles! It's not like you guys are anything else." Mike could almost see her rolling her eyes through the line.
Mike gave a weak smile. "Yeah, um, right," he said hoarsely, "of course we're only, uh, ninja turtles..."
Raph just sat there, spilling his beer on the floor, mouth a little open, like he was planning to say something, but couldn't, as if his brain was temperarily out of of function.
Suddenly he gave a little hiccup, and Mike laughed in spite of the situation.
"Anyway, thanks for taking my request-- I'll be listening for your answers.
And hey, Raph? Try not to OD on the beer, eh?
I can smell your bad breath all the way from here. Eesh." she giggled.
There was a beep as April CK hung up the phone.
Mike and Raph were even more confused this time, and were grateful for the fact that they didn't have to entertain the world for the next five minutes or so while Queen was playing.
Mama, just killed a man...put a gun against his head--pulled my trigger--now he's dead
Raph emidiately turned to Mike with a worried look on his face.
"Mike...is it this beer talking, or do people really know about us?
I mean, I know I've had a few, but it's not that many and--first there
was this Lola chick from Sweden--" he babbled.
"Norway," Mike said absently.
Raph turned his head. "Hmm?"
"She was from Norway," he repeated.
"OK, Lola from Norway--whatever-- and she comes and asks us about how it's like to be a mutant turtle!!" he said angrily, " and then this April CK seems to know our April, and she too knows about the whole turtle thing and, and--she asks us what our goals are!! She even comments on my beer drinking!!"
Carry on, carry on...nothing really matters
Klunk strolled into the room and stroked against Mike's legs, purring, before jumping up on the control board.
"No, Klunk! Shoo, shoo!" Mike picked him up and put him on the floor.
"What I think about being a mutant turtle? You wanna hear it?" Raph
didn't seem like he was going to stop his angry speach.
He was gesturing his arms everywhere, spraying beer that went in circles
in the air and splashed down on the floor afterwards.
"Well, it sucks, that's what!" He yelled,
" I hate being paranoid, I hate being green, I hate having to hide,
I hate having my butt kicked all the time, I hate having no girlfriend,
I hate living in the stinkin' sewers, but most-- most of all, I hate
the fact that there are now people who knows about us and seem to think
it's all oh, so funny and likes to listen to us talking and kidding around
for entertainment--it makes me even more paranoid!" he drew his breath.
"Um, Raph," Mike cringed, "Klunk kind of, um, accidently stepped on the distribution button, so um, what I'm trying to say is, well--" he glanced at Raph.
Raph looked at the controls, and as he saw the red light blinking, he felt his face become as red as it.
"Oh," he mumbled, " I think I'm gonna turn in early tonight," he added, crushing the beer can in his hand.
Mike sighed. " You do that, Raph."
He put on his head phones and spun his office chair around.
"Well, people," he said, " I guess you can that there goes one angry
turtle...life as a turtle isn't all that and a bag of chips, I can tell
ya--but first, lets have another caller, shall we?"
"Welcome to my humble show," Mike greeted the next caller, "what do
you have to say to us this evening?"