0. Let it be known throughout the Multiverses that there exists among mortal men the ultimate synthesis of human existence and experience.
1. Standing between heaven and hearth, and by divine command, the Crimson Council of Cthulhu of the CCCXXXIII has decided to appear before the eyes of humanity as a Cult, incorporating all existing lore, travelling the paths untrodden, illuminating and thus eliminating the passing stranger. Hearken: The Chaos Cult of Cthulhu has risen.
2. Because Chaos is Cheap, the Cult is almost for Free. But beware: CCCXXXIII is not for the sinner or the zombie.
3. The dead should prove their death, and implode with a snigger. The living should join the Cult and explode with a glee.
4. Being omnipotent and the most ultimate Cult in existence, CCCXXXIII has decided to take the command of all petty Orders, Cults, Churches, Pacts, Organizations in existence today, in the future, and in the past.
5. As it is stated in this very introduction: "This they do not know, nor shalt they, but the plague of the Dogstar."
6. CCCXXXIII will honor their memory as we honor the shadows, being but one side of Light, but foremost we honor the Light.
7. We honor CCCXXXIII.
8. - 14. (vide Crimson Council of Cthulhu Cypher MS)
15. We honor the sudden sparks of intense Light, the Animators of Cosmos, the Heart and Soles of the Great Old Ånds, being:
16. Mahatma Leo Tard, miss March-Druid, Frater Itchinphallic Priapuss of Tic-Tac-TOPY, B.E.B.B., W.o.W., Knight of the Sanctified Whipporwill, 360 degrees F. of the Gnomes of Zurich, Vast Keeper in General, Grand Ma. of the Crimson Council of Cthulhu, bon-ami de Baron Vendredi, Extremely Hidden, I'd say Nearly Invisible and Stupefyingly Enlightened Mazda of Nada, Svada and Scha, Post-Mortem Embezzler of Metatron, Hiereunuch of the Odd God Sod, Avatar of Agathon Sax, Chum of Chnoubis and Besz, Lost Disciple of Hilarious Biff, Hot Mama of the Abyss, Clogged Cleptomaniac of Hoth, Koth, Klingon and Kadath, Lovely Lackey of Lam, Flogging Fiddler of Obsidian Obscenity, Knape of the Kneck, Cunning Runt of Beastly Babylon, Psychopompous Pardner of Guitared Magiq, Dreadnut of Juggernuit, a Schweskimagus, a TOSser, a Founder, and a Quite Secret Chef.
17. Mahagurudev Yogaraji Sri Peer Vasne Fandum, fl.esq., DD, HD, Frater Mentalgripslip 1008 degree of the Sunshunnuns, To Giga Kefalonaut Abydophagos Cataclystherion, Magister Simpli, Sumpreme Inquisitor Commander (sic), Snug Grinder of the Mauve Zone, Sorcere de la Haute Couture, Holy Scavenger of the Swix at Gaza, Knave of Namsos, Chaosboss of Tindalos, Stirfried Sultansheik of Holy Oil and Ectoplasm, Damsel of the Knack of It, Pan-Architect of Irreality, Messenger of the Odd Ones, Professor of the Pudding, Magistrate of Hither and Yonder, Mighty High Priest of Tentacles, Widely Acclaimed Knitter of Nemysses, Abysses and Ulysses, Bragging Bimbo of Bethlehem and Mecca, Slick Suckling of Sternstorm, Stratosfear, und Strychnine, Brother-in-Law of at least a thousand Queer-Eyed Young, Perdurabissimus of the Church of Crowley, a Spas-Magician, a Zork and a Grue, a Founder, and a Bit Secret Chef.
18. Such are the words.